I am proud to be the mother of a little girl. (Actually, getting bigger way too fast.) As I watch my own body change (who knew that body parts migrated just like birds!), and come to terms with it, I struggle on a regular basis with how to present it to her. She is like my shadow. She pulls back the shower curtain to ask questions, she watches me tweeze my eyebrows, shave my legs and try on a parade of outfits until I find the one that suits me at that moment. She also watches me do triathlons, get dressed up to go to fancy work events, or crazy friend events. So she sees it all. And she takes it all in. What I don't know is what she does with it.

I think that i have a pretty healthy body image. I do battle the same 5 pounds that everyone I know battles, but I never cry about it or get upset about it, it just is what it is. I do emphasize healthful food, but for health reasons, not body images. We talk often about how junk-food is not healthy, and being fat is not healthy, and how the two are connected - but never about being pretty, or good, or hot or sexy.

That said, we are not an island. She watches TV just like every other kid. (A decision we made consciously so as to have her learn to navigate media messages from the get-go.) She has friends who talk about all sorts of things that seem silly to me - cute celebrities, High School Musical - but I know are how they construct their image of the world as well as their place in it.

So here are some of the challenges I face as I watch my daughter grow, watch her watch her body and mine for clues.....

1. Being pretty, however society at large defines it, is a tremendous advantage. I do not want to tell her that it doesn't matter, when I know full well that it does matter. Should it matter? No. Does it? Yes. That strikes me as a discussion point.

2. Being fat is not healthy. That said, there is a HUGE amount of variety in terms of body shapes that are healthy and fit. Some of them are tiny and thin, and those people shouldn't be penalized any more than those of us who are a tad huskier. But how do you accept the variety while still saying that the far ends of the spectrum - on either side - are generally not healthy.

3. I want her to decide what she wants to look like. But also understand that those decisions will impact how other's see her. And that part of personal freedom is knowing that you take responsibility for the decisions you make. Purple hair, tattoos, super fit body, super fat body..... It's all part and parcel of the same truth. Yes, you can control how you look. No, you cannot control how others feel about it.

Which of course gets us back to raising children who are capable of navigating media messages, peer messages, family messages, religious messages, and figuring out how they fit into it all. We need to raise children who can decide for themselves what feels right to them, and be able to stick to it. I want my daughter, however she's built and whatever her hair color is, to look at herself and feel beautiful. To be able to walk into any room, express her thoughts and feel brilliant. Walk into any problem and feel empowered to change it.

So although it may seem counter to what i hear people say, I think it's okay for her to witness my 5 pound battle, and the fact that although i am not always thrilled, I'm never upset with what i see. I think it's okay for her to see me shave my legs, because i have chosen to, and that's my decision to make. I think it's okay for her to see me try on 6 outfits before I leave the house, because that's how she learns that sometimes you just have to try a lot of stuff before you find something that works. I think it's okay to teach her to love herself exactly as she is, but make sure she knows that she can - and will - change, and that's within her control to.

I'm sure there's more to this story, but what are your thoughts on raising healthy girls?